Saturday, March 27, 2010

What's your point, Norm?

So, this evening, I am sitting my computer. I'm looking down at my keyboard and thinking "what should I say?" I don't know. This blog is to serve as my online journal. I do know that. I finished my farmer's market bag and soon (within a day or two) I will have pics on here. I think my next project will be make fanny packs. "Fanny Packs?" you say. Yes, fanny packs. Not the old dorky kind but new awesome ones! Bright colors---Yea!!! I'll start them as soon as I get the green room back in order. It's a mess again. I'm out growing the space! I am an insomniac; therefore, I watch late night television. The past few nights, I have been watching "Cheer's". The old show from the 80's. Well, last night I watched an episode where "Norm", one of the bar patrons, gets a new job at this top accounting firm. Well, the bar employees and other patrons go down to "Norm's" new office to say congrats and give him a plant for his office. Well, after scrambling around the building trying to find the suite number, they finally find it. They whip open the door and immediately, the door hits his desk. Bam! They immediately find out that his new office is more like a broom closet! So, there's "Norm", in his plump glory pinned between the desk and wall. And I think to myself "That's me in my sewing room"! So, I wake my husband up to tell him. And he actually thought it was funny and got the joke. Usually, I would get a grumble and a grunt from him. I just looked it up and the episode is called "Norm's First Hurrah" (1987). If you ever can't sleep, turn the t.v. on the Hallmark Channel at 1 a.m. The show plays until sometimes 4 a.m. It's definitely worth watching. There, I found something to talk about! Whew!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Woe is me....

Well, a couple days ago my personal doctor informed that I have PCOS. Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. My doctor also said I'd have go throught fertility treatments to have another baby. Finally, all these strange symptoms I've had ever since I can remember, now make sense. And it all just leaves me wondering...What took doctors so long? So, I haven't been working very much in the green room. I've been too depressed. I try to hide my hurt because I don't want to be a bummer. But I am really aching inside. I can't sleep. And for the first time ever, I don't want to eat! Oh, the doctor says he can prescribe some medication that will help. That's great news and all, don't get me wrong. But he told me that I won't be able to have a period without a pill. To me, that's like saying "you won't be a woman unless you take this and this." (Sigh of frustration.) So, in my mind, I'm not a woman if I need to take a pill to be one. So, what am I? I feel like some empty body. I guess I should thank the Lord I have my daughter. I am so thankful for her! But still, I had  pictured my husband and I with a yard full of kids. Then, it's like all this depression feeds on itself. I start thinking...Why don't I have a mother that gives a damn about me? I sure could use some motherly love right about now! Why doesn't anyone call me? No one emails me. Not even my aunt who swears she likes me. She would probably help me feel better about this PCOS thing. It's like I have no family at all. My mother in law calls me but it's not the same. She didn't know me as a little girl. She can't remind me of the time I fell off my bike but didn't cry....just got back up and kept on a truckin'. (I don't know if anything like that ever happened but you get the idea). I need someone to remind me that I'm tough because sometimes I get tired of telling myself. See! The depression just digs deeper and deeper. I better stop and go to bed. Another sleepless night. It's complicated.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

"Look Away" By Me.

Why do I do nothing
When so much can be done
About this pain in my head
When I stare at the sun

Herbal tea and chocolate
Nothing does the trick
Like a pair of sunglasses
And a tube of chapstick

There's a spider in my shoe
He fell from the water spout
I shake and I shake
But he won't come out

I painted question marks
On the bathroom floor
Because I have so many
That I can't ignore

My favorite work of Dorothy Parker...


If I don't drive around the park,
I'm pretty sure to leave my mark,
If I'm in bed each night by ten,
I may get back my looks again.
If I abstain from fun and such,
I'll probably amount to much;
But I shall stay the way I am
Because I do not give a damn.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Who's bad?

Well, that would be me! My little girl and I went to Walmart tonight for some groceries. Well, lo and behold, my father-in-law's special big assed girlfriend was in the frozen aisle. He left my mother-in-law who is an angel...for this saddle bag wearing hoe. Well, anyways, she recognized me, made eye contact....and thus, the fun commenced. As I walked down the aisle pushing my buggy, I was struggling for something to say. This, by the way, never happens to me. I always have something clever to say. Well, my buggy is parallel to hers when I notice she is buying hungryman meals (my father-in-law's favorite crap in a box)...then, I let it rip! Well, not actually, I just make a fart noise that the whole aisle can hear! I lifted my leg slighted and pointed my ass in her direction while I did it!!! I do have some class so I won't pout her name on her. But if you wanna know just email me. Tonight was not complicated for me. This woman is exactly why women get a bad rap as hoes and gold diggers. Only her target has no gold!!!! Shame on her.

A Poem from way back...

I guess I wrote this about 6 years ago. It's titled "Deeper Blue".

Blind spots and lost tempers
Let's think this through
A random shot in the dark
Passing into a deeper blue

Blood stained curtains
From the neighbor's kitchen
Collecting dust in the attic
Away from attention

Taboo sits in his chair
Tolerance paces the floor
Hidden in the dim hallway
Is a blood red door

A house with no mirrors
But plenty of windows to look out
Silence is the cover
Within it I can shout

Shout about your mistakes
Things I should've done
Impluses best left unsaid
Are best solved by a gun

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Lookie! Lookie!

This is what I made last night. The zippered pouch has a pocket's clear plastic. The purple card holder is for my cards since my wallet doesn't have slots for them. They have the same pattern fabric as the cat bag; therefore, I guess they match. Later, I am going to go through my old poetry collection from way back and post something. It will be fun. No, it's not complicated.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

the wallet I made inside of wallet

inside the "cat" bag

front of "cat" bag

Back of "cat" bag

I had a busy day today. First, I painted the window sills in the livingroom. They went from ugly and dingy to bright white! Getting up off my ass to do something makes me feel good. Maybe it's this spring weather we've been having. I also worked in the green room some. I organized it and made it somewhat tolerable. And with the energy left over I constructed a carry all bag and wallet(pictured above). Then, my husband, daughter, mom-in-law, and I went to Ruby Tuesday for dinner. I got the Ruby's Mini's with the salad bar. Yum! I, with much enthusiasm, suggest the salad bar....especially the pasta & pea salad! Well, back to my work in the green room... My next project will be a farmer's market tote. So I won't have to cart around plastic bags while chasing after my daughter. She'll be two next month. I plan on the outside of the tote being tan burlap and the inside lined with this pretty pink and white checkered material. And maybe I will make a small zippered pouch to match for my neccessities. Come to think of it, I should make a zippered pouch or two to match the cat bag! Back to the green room. The thoughts just come at random, I know. It's complicated.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

My first post...ever!

Well, this is my first post. I had been pondering about maybe doing this but wasn't sure. Anyways, here I am. I'm going to tell you about myself to start things off. I am a stay at home mom of one daughter. I am in the process of learning how to sew and be crafty in general. I enjoy writing poetry...but I haven't written anything in five years or so. I have two cats that I just adore. I have an orange tabby named Pete. He's my romeo....a real charmer. He's about 6 years old. I have a ragdoll kitten named Penny. She's a scruffy maniac! She's about 6 months old. I also have two dogs. Mona is a Great Pyr and Amelia is a shar-pei/pittbull mix. Let's see...what else....I enjoy cooking. Actually the movie Julie/Julia gave me the idea to do this blogging thing. But I am not as goal driven as the character in the movie. I enjoy shopping at thift stores with my mother-in-law. How many people can say they like their mother-in-law? Well, I can. I enjoy shopping with my husband too...I know, that's a strange thing to say but it's the truth. Oh, and by the way if you're wondering what the green room is...It's my sewing room. It's painted green and isn't very big. It's kinda like a large closet that I've turned into my santuary. will be my sanctuary once I can get it organized and make sense of the mess. It's complicated.